Thoughts of a twenty something girl

Happy New Year 2012

2012-01-08T14:17:00.000-08:00

Things went well this past year with the holiday season. Christmas went well and I'm super excited for the new adventures that lie ahead. I should get my Bachelor's degree towards the end of this year so that is really exciting. School is going well right now, taking Writing in Psychology which should produce a rather interesting paper in a few weeks.

Things are going well with Justin and I. Just normal things happening right now. Just took down all the Christmas decorations which is something that needed to get done.

Musically, I've been listening to a new Blue October Song called "The Worry List". I think it's pretty interesting how people will troll and hate on bands just because they can't relate to their music. Personally, I love rock music. I listen to many bands personally, and Blue October is in my top three favorite bands. My other two favorite bands are Three Days Grace and Breaking Benjamin.

Justin and I have been watching a lot of Futurama lately. It's an interesting show to watch, especially if you like animation.
Find me on Facebook and Twitter. :)

Christmas is almost Here!!!!

2011-12-23T13:36:00.000-08:00

So got everything taken care of at my old job and waved good riddance to the past. I figure that I am the luckiest girl in the world because the Lord has blessed me with a great boyfriend who means everything to me and lets me focus on my school and taking care of the house, instead of desperately finding a job.

I currently am counting down to Christmas, which I can't wait until because it is our first Christmas together and something exciting happened a few days ago. I was laying in bed and we were talking and we heard something on our porch. It was a cute orange tabby cat, she has no tail, and it was cold outside so we took her in, and she is the sweetest little thing ever. We decided to name her munchkin. She is the laziest and happiest cat ever.

Of course, we got our tree up and all the decorations up. All the gifts are wrapped and cards got sent out. Everything is on track for our celebration. I absolutely love our tree, this year we didn't really need any additional decorations, but we got a few new ornaments anyways.

I still think something is on Justin's mind. I just don't know what it is. I guess everything will be better after Christmas, I guess that the holidays are getting to him since hes not going to be with his family.

Happy Holidays Y'all!!!

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

2011-12-13T06:50:00.000-08:00

I got laid off from my job last week, and so thats a damp cloth on the best month of the year. I just love Christmas time though. Mostly because I never got to celebrate it as a kid and so ever year I'm mesmerized by the lights and the statues. Plus I love shopping for other people and giving gifts. This year is awesome because it is our first Christmas together. I love this season, plus I'm falling more and more in love with Justin everyday.

When I lost my Job, we figured out I could just take care of the house and do school work instead of having to work. We're on week two and its going well and I love that I get to stay home and take care of the house. The best part is being home when he gets home :). I'm so freaking excited for Christmas, I've done some shopping already but still have more to do. Lately I've been thinking that if he decides to pop the question I will definitely say yes. I really do want to spend the rest of my life with this amazing man.

Yay only 12 days to go until Christmas, and our anniversary is tomorrow :).

Merry Christmas Y'all!!

Wow It's been a while!

2011-11-24T06:06:00.000-08:00

Hi Y'all! it been a couple of crazy months! Justin and I celebrated our six month anniversary a few weeks ago and it has been smooth sailing at work and home. Now that mom doesn't live with me anymore, I'm so much more relaxed and able to get my schoolwork done within a reasonable amount of time. I got a promotion at work with a pay raise. Life's going really well right now.

We're doing thankgiving here this year and it's gonna be really good since I'm cooking. I might post some pictures after its all said and done. It's gonna be a great day! Well I've got to get cooking!

Life can be irritating at times

2011-04-10T19:38:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've posted. Life just really gets to me sometimes plus twitter is only 140 characters. The past few months have been rather difficult for me to deal with. Lately I feel that I try really hard but I'm not as successful as I would like to be.

I've been battling things that never really truly went away, they were just less noticeable. I feel that I'm pretty much alone in my own corner. I used to have such a great support system but most of those people have kind of fizzled away from me in the past few months. Life is really hard to deal with when you're alone and you feel like an outsider.

I found out that I work about 45 hours a week which could be taking a huge toll on me but I think its the failure resounding around me. In the past few months I have figured out a few things though, I am so glad that I'm single, I feel that a guy just wouldn't understand how I feel that a relationship should work. I have ran into that problem in the past with my ex-boyfriends.

I feel that life is easier without a significant other. Work lately has been okay. I enjoy the bakery, it is fun and I feel like I am an important employee there. I have self worth there which is something that doesn't happen everywhere.

Lately, I have been listening to songs by skillet, breaking benjamin, three days grace and the red jumpsuit apparatus. They seem to dull the pain a little. if y'all know what I've been dealing with, the decrease in pain really helps at times.

Lately life has been abnormal

2010-10-04T18:48:00.000-07:00

This past week has been rather weirs to say the least.

For the First thing, My friend Yvonne passed away from Breast cancer. She taught me a lot of what I know.She took care of me and my sister for most of our childhood. She loved us like her own children. She was to me a very special woman and she has always been a role model for me because her whole life she served God, no matter how much pain she was going through. Every time I hear the song, Blessed Be Your Name, I think of her.

The second thing is that I got a random phone call from my father today. He almost never calls unless he wants something. we don't have a good relationship at all. He just Joined the cult that I grew up in last month officially, and he called to tell me that he is dating someone and that it is getting serious. This is so irritating because I feel sorry for whoever he is dating, my father is someone who is difficult to relate to let alone live with. He is the reason for my parents divorcing.Although I have forgiven him for what he did to me in my childhood, I still haven't gotten over the way that certain members of the cult treated me growing up all the way until I left it. I have learned to live with the pain of losing my childhood to that unspeakable evil, I cannot stand it that my father has decided to join it.

The third thing is that for some reason I have been really sick the past couple of days, and i'm finally getting better. I have an eerie feeling that this is only the start of flu season, and I will probably get sick again.

I noticed that throughout this week though that when I think about God and how he has been with me since the day I was born, and he has never forsaken me, it is all worth it. I know in my heart that my friend Yvonne is in Heaven with Jesus.

Work today was interesting, I'm hoping that this month flies by though... its going to be super busy for me.

craziness in life is nuts

2010-07-23T21:33:00.000-07:00

This has been the craziest week in a long time. I have learned a lot this week, and just have seen how God has blessed my life lately. I also figured out how stupid I was when I was 18. i have figured out that i am so blessed, especially because although I live with my mom still, she is the most patient and understanding person I know.

Work has been so rewarding this week, i love my job(s). Although at times I feel a little insane myself, I would not trade my life for anything. I still can't believe I've made it this far, everything considered. I really cannot wait for tomorrow because although I have to work tomorrow, I know i will have an awesome time doing it. I'll be almost caught up in my classes too, which is a big sigh of relief.

I'm wondering what next week will bring seeing as to how I will have practically no free time next week until Saturday, if i don't have to work. :-)

I'm so glad I've pretty much figured things out for myself. This month is my 20 month anniversary of leaving the cult I was in, and i also have a 17 month anniversary of an achievement that it took me a long time to achieve.

It's July and my life has been blessed!!!!!

2010-07-17T22:12:00.000-07:00

I've had such a wonderful week. I'm finished with all my work from last week, just getting some reading for my cognition class finished tonight. I've been spending some awesome time with my mom, which is always good. I started working another job in addition to my other one at the bakery last month. I absolutely love it though. I work with some really sweet people, and I love loving my jobs. I feel so blessed to be able to do so many things in my life and share it with so many people.

The Lord has blessed me in so many ways!!!! I am so privileged to be able to volunteer and teach the youth, I love seeing their smiling faces on Sunday mornings. ;-) My family isn't always supportive, but family is family. I am so thankful for everything I have been blessed with lately.

School has been so great lately. I finished two classes, Developmental Psychology and Composition One, with A's in both. I'm in two more classes now. I'm taking Cognition & Learning and General Statistics. We are in the third week and going well. I still can't believe how my life has come together in the past year and a half. I've really gotten past all the bad and right now it's smooth sailing.

My small group has been so supportive, and its amazing how when I go there, I am soooooo tired from everything, and when Its over, I'm so filled with energy. :-)I really cannot wait until small group every week, especially the bad weeks at work.

Life's been going well and I will continue to go on through the bright times and the not so bright times.

Craziness in the Summer Sun

2010-06-07T23:52:00.000-07:00

Life's always been crazy, but since when does that give people the right to piss me off? When is it okay to send a nasty text to other people? I don't know about other people, but I wouldn't do that to someone else. I don't see why men are such jerks at times who try to tell their girlfriends what they can and cannot do. just something i've been thinking about.

Sometimes I think that those men have issues that they need to work out before imposing their insanity on the rest of the world. I know plenty of guys who don't do that to their girlfriends, spouses, or even life partners. I really miss when people thought before acting. I really wonder how the world would be different if people thought about others before acting.

I almost wish that people running cults would quit destroying others and their lives. I really don't understand how these people just eat up everything they say, just like drinking the kool-aid. If the people were able to escape the brainwashing, they would see these idiots for what they are. I've known many people who have had to rebuild their whole life and can't even see their parents because of being raised in a cult. I am so thankful to be a survivor, and even more thankful to see it for what it is. A Cult. Plain and simple, the organization claims that it is not a cult, although all the signs show the truth. Now that my dad is getting into this cult, it really pisses me off, now I lost my dad to this cult. Especially because I've lost my sister, and now my dad is being brainwashed, and theyre trying to entice my mom. I will remain strong though. They won't get me back. :-)

June 2010???

2010-05-31T20:58:00.000-07:00

Wow. Time has gone by so fast. I've been working and going to school, and of course volunteering and going to church. I've been so blessed lately to have had the common sense to leave that cult. Thank God!!!

Schools been going awesome! I've been getting A's and a Few B's lately. Of course I've been working my ass off to do it. It's been a struggle but I'm getting there. I've met so many of my goals that I feel like the luckiest woman on earth.

Works been work. :-) I love my job, but it gets difficult to put up with all the bullshit lately. I've been hoping that the next few years would fly by, and give me some peace.

Luckily for me, I have become so stable in my life that almost nothing gets to me. There are a few exceptions, however they are very minimal. I'm still figuring out which people are innately good, and I'm finding that many people I used to be around are not.

I really can't wait for the fall again and I pray that I have my job still, and that I can make a living and also handle any surprises that my boss may throw my way.

I can't believe it's already almost June. It seems like not too long ago, it was Christmas. I've been discovering lately though that when all else fails, music and friends will pull me through.

Return From Nothingness

2009-08-28T14:36:00.000-07:00

I haven't even written a blog post in so long. i had my birthday about a week ago and finished my class on my birthday. I have been really busy. Working alot and school and everything like that.

So I've been deleving into a lot of music lately especially the new Breaking Benjamin song, I will not bow which one of my favorite songs right now.

The other day I bought the Nirvana Box Set - With the Lights Out...
I totally love the set... it is the best cd set I own!!!
I absolutely love nirvana...

Anyways More later...

R.I.P. Charlie

2009-01-27T06:39:00.000-08:00

Well,
It's been a week since I recieved the bad news about my dog, Charlie. my Dad called and told me last monday that it appeared that my dog might have gotten eaten by coyotes. He was an old dog but he was so sweet and caring about how his 'people' were feeling. He was 12 years old in human years but he will be missed.

Well it's Thursday and the delayed beginning of a new year

2009-01-15T18:55:00.000-08:00

So January marks the beginning of a new year and with new years comes new goals that most of us break within a few months. I have more than a few this year because its going to be a record breaking year in my life. I will share just a few because my list of resolutions goes on for a couple of pages.

1. Finish every class that I attempt this year.
Hopefully also pass every single class, but at least complete each class since I only have to do one or two at a time. I also want to finish assignments on time as much as possible.

2. Take care of myself first.
I want to put myself first especially my health because usually I am well if I put my healthcare first instead of putting school or other things first. I really want to stay out of intensive therapy groups if at all possible this year.

3. Figure out ways to live better.
I mean to actually enjoy things instead of just doing them. Like read a book just for fun. Listen and actually interpret music for the hell of it.

4. Get over fears and phobias.
Last years I figured out that I have unreasonable fears, so this year I should definitely get past these fears so that I can live an enjoyable life.

Warning: This Resolution is the most classically broke of any resolutions
5. Lose Weight
Although this year I only want to lose ten pounds it still must be accomplished, my goal in this aspect last year was to lose 25 pounds and I did really good because I lost fifty pounds. This year I just want to reach my target weight and stay there.

6. Final Resolution which summarizes the other 20 or so goals that are on my list, get my shit together.
So, I basically want to get my life back in order to actually survive my twenties and get all the things accomplished that I have on my list.

So basically that is the gist of my new years resolutions just a few weeks late because I was debating whether or not to start a new blog. I figured why not? New Year, New Blog.

If we take a look at my last year's resolutions it will provide some insight into why I made these resolutions.

1. Lose Weight
I specifically said at least 25 pounds, but I accomplished that by June of last year so I decided to keep going. The weight loss total for last year was 54.5 pounds so that's a little over an average of a pound a week. I would say that that would be a job well done.

2. Go Back to School.
I wanted to at least get some classes done and I succeeded because I went To school for the last session of the year. I also passed those classes so I did really well.

3. Make Up my mind about the whole religion thing.
So I decided to give being a JW one more try. Well, I decided that it wasn't working out for a reason, it wasn't meant to be, so I am now an Ex-JW, for the better. I think that it is an important part of my recovery from my illness to be free and clear of all cults and focus my energies on school and work.

4. Expand my Horizons.
I meant by this to make more friends, which could go either way because I made more online friends but if i were talking about real-life friends then it would be a failure because the only thing I did was make some of my friends be closer friends.

5. Have at least one night of pure fun per month.
This was a failure, and even though it was a good idea it's not on the list for this year. I'm definitely trying to have more fun but each month of 2008 didn't have a night of fun. I think the months were February, March, April, August, and September that I didn't have a fun night. It's kind of funny though that when i was in school I made time to have fun at least one day out of the month.

So the past year was mainly a successful year, it had its setbacks but I'm trying to make efforts towards recovery.
Although I mainly fucked up my life pretty bad the beginning of the year, I made up for it at the end of the year.