Craziness in the Summer Sun

Life's always been crazy, but since when does that give people the right to piss me off? When is it okay to send a nasty text to other people? I don't know about other people, but I wouldn't do that to someone else. I don't see why men are such jerks at times who try to tell their girlfriends what they can and cannot do. just something i've been thinking about.

Sometimes I think that those men have issues that they need to work out before imposing their insanity on the rest of the world. I know plenty of guys who don't do that to their girlfriends, spouses, or even life partners. I really miss when people thought before acting. I really wonder how the world would be different if people thought about others before acting.

I almost wish that people running cults would quit destroying others and their lives. I really don't understand how these people just eat up everything they say, just like drinking the kool-aid. If the people were able to escape the brainwashing, they would see these idiots for what they are. I've known many people who have had to rebuild their whole life and can't even see their parents because of being raised in a cult. I am so thankful to be a survivor, and even more thankful to see it for what it is. A Cult. Plain and simple, the organization claims that it is not a cult, although all the signs show the truth. Now that my dad is getting into this cult, it really pisses me off, now I lost my dad to this cult. Especially because I've lost my sister, and now my dad is being brainwashed, and theyre trying to entice my mom. I will remain strong though. They won't get me back. :-)

June 2010???

Wow. Time has gone by so fast. I've been working and going to school, and of course volunteering and going to church. I've been so blessed lately to have had the common sense to leave that cult. Thank God!!!

Schools been going awesome! I've been getting A's and a Few B's lately. Of course I've been working my ass off to do it. It's been a struggle but I'm getting there. I've met so many of my goals that I feel like the luckiest woman on earth.


Works been work. :-) I love my job, but it gets difficult to put up with all the bullshit lately. I've been hoping that the next few years would fly by, and give me some peace.

Luckily for me, I have become so stable in my life that almost nothing gets to me. There are a few exceptions, however they are very minimal. I'm still figuring out which people are innately good, and I'm finding that many people I used to be around are not.

I really can't wait for the fall again and I pray that I have my job still, and that I can make a living and also handle any surprises that my boss may throw my way.

I can't believe it's already almost June. It seems like not too long ago, it was Christmas. I've been discovering lately though that when all else fails, music and friends will pull me through. 

Return From Nothingness

I haven't even written a blog post in so long. i had my birthday about a week ago and finished my class on my birthday. I have been really busy. Working alot and school and everything like that.

So I've been deleving into a lot of music lately especially the new Breaking Benjamin song, I will not bow which one of my favorite songs right now.

The other day I bought the Nirvana Box Set - With the Lights Out...
I totally love the set... it is the best cd set I own!!!
I absolutely love nirvana...

Anyways More later...

R.I.P. Charlie

Well,
It's been a week since I recieved the bad news about my dog, Charlie. my Dad called and told me last monday that it appeared that my dog might have gotten eaten by coyotes. He was an old dog but he was so sweet and caring about how his 'people' were feeling. He was 12 years old in human years but he will be missed.

Well it's Thursday and the delayed beginning of a new year

So January marks the beginning of a new year and with new years comes new goals that most of us break within a few months. I have more than a few this year because its going to be a record breaking year in my life. I will share just a few because my list of resolutions goes on for a couple of pages.

1. Finish every class that I attempt this year.
Hopefully also pass every single class, but at least complete each class since I only have to do one or two at a time. I also want to finish assignments on time as much as possible.

2. Take care of myself first.
I want to put myself first especially my health because usually I am well if I put my healthcare first instead of putting school or other things first. I really want to stay out of intensive therapy groups if at all possible this year.

3. Figure out ways to live better.
I mean to actually enjoy things instead of just doing them. Like read a book just for fun. Listen and actually interpret music for the hell of it.

4. Get over fears and phobias.
Last years I figured out that I have unreasonable fears, so this year I should definitely get past these fears so that I can live an enjoyable life.

Warning: This Resolution is the most classically broke of any resolutions
5. Lose Weight
Although this year I only want to lose ten pounds it still must be accomplished, my goal in this aspect last year was to lose 25 pounds and I did really good because I lost fifty pounds. This year I just want to reach my target weight and stay there.

6. Final Resolution which summarizes the other 20 or so goals that are on my list, get my shit together.
So, I basically want to get my life back in order to actually survive my twenties and get all the things accomplished that I have on my list.

So basically that is the gist of my new years resolutions just a few weeks late because I was debating whether or not to start a new blog. I figured why not? New Year, New Blog.

If we take a look at my last year's resolutions it will provide some insight into why I made these resolutions.

1. Lose Weight
I specifically said at least 25 pounds, but I accomplished that by June of last year so I decided to keep going. The weight loss total for last year was 54.5 pounds so that's a little over an average of a pound a week. I would say that that would be a job well done.

2. Go Back to School.
I wanted to at least get some classes done and I succeeded because I went To school for the last session of the year. I also passed those classes so I did really well.

3. Make Up my mind about the whole religion thing.
So I decided to give being a JW one more try. Well, I decided that it wasn't working out for a reason, it wasn't meant to be, so I am now an Ex-JW, for the better. I think that it is an important part of my recovery from my illness to be free and clear of all cults and focus my energies on school and work.

4. Expand my Horizons.
I meant by this to make more friends, which could go either way because I made more online friends but if i were talking about real-life friends then it would be a failure because the only thing I did was make some of my friends be closer friends.

5. Have at least one night of pure fun per month.
This was a failure, and even though it was a good idea it's not on the list for this year. I'm definitely trying to have more fun but each month of 2008 didn't have a night of fun. I think the months were February, March, April, August, and September that I didn't have a fun night. It's kind of funny though that when i was in school I made time to have fun at least one day out of the month.

So the past year was mainly a successful year, it had its setbacks but I'm trying to make efforts towards recovery.
Although I mainly fucked up my life pretty bad the beginning of the year, I made up for it at the end of the year.